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Here’s a new thing: Fill-in-the-blank Poetry

Ed
the fed
is ____

While you’re working that out, here’s a funny story…

A few months after I started a new job at the Department of Fishies and Oceans. My sister, who also works for the federal government here in sunny Canada, had been listening to me rant about the new job, and like a good sister tried to console me. She told me about this guy she had met, and how in conversation, she asked him, “So, what do you think of federal government employees?”

He answered with a question: “Have you seen the movie Sixth Sense?”

“Yeah…” she says, and he replies:

“I see dead people”.

Funny guy!

Reminds me of another funny guy, Will Ferguson, who wrote Why I Hate Canadians (a book that should be taught in high school — well, to Canadians of course; other people already know).  In Chapter 22: Success Without Risk: The Canadian Dream, Ferguson reveals the

Ferguson Formula for Determining the Suitability of Canadian Aspirations:

CD=S-R
(Canadian Dream equals Success without Risk)

The winning career? Associate Professor. It just narrowly beat out civil servant.

My point? Buy Will’s book; it’s funny AND true — like The Bible isn’t.

One more example ought to do it (”it” being “clear the room”):

From Chapter Eleven: America is Sexy

Let’s face it, America is sexy. It is exciting, dangerous, crass, brash and violent.

The problem is not that America is screwing us daily—which they are—but that they never send flowers or call afterwards. They barely remember our name. “See you around, doll. Here,” as they toss us a coin, “buy yourself something nice.” It is intercourse without foreplay, when all we needed was a little respect. (Cue the sobbing, chest-beating litany of “I hate you’s.”)

[ref to both excerpts]

Soo goood!  Anyway, I’m digressing…

About the feds, you are either thinking “duh! what were you thinking?!” or “if it sucks so bad, why don’t you just quit?!”  To which I would answer with “quit which?  the feds or Canada?”

So fine, I’ll fill in the blank with “naive” and go drop some hints about flower shops…